Remedy for the Soul

Are you ever truly satisfied with the person you are?
Do you wake up and think of how silky your skin is, or the brightness of your eyes? Do you think of the approach you have on people, the character and personality you offer, the glimpse you view to the world of who you are?
I don't think I'm ever happy with who I am. I think whatever I write, whatever I think or say, could always have been better. I could get an A and say why not an A*, not that I ever got an A* ,mind you.
I'm just a face in the crowd, and I pretend I'm special because if I don't then who else will do it for me? My flaws are skillyfully written in my mind, chornologically. I view the person that I am today, and say what could have gone better. Complaining seems to be all I do when it comes to my flaws, and I never appreciate everything I have because I always want more out of myself. Another flaw. 
My life is wonderful. I could not ask for more. It's so wonderful, in fact,  that maybe I try to live up to its standards. Like trying to fold the corner of a paper, I want  it to be a certain shape, a certain perfection -
although I, hyprocritically, don't believe in such a thing.
Although the goddess herself, Gaga, would say I was born this way, I don't believe so. There's so much I can change, so much I can learn and do,  so much I can become - and I don't embrace what I have.
'Glee' is always about acceptance, and I often agree with it's messages and often think why teenagers don't accept who they are, and I recently found the answer. We don't know who we are. We are wonderers in a society that expects us to immediately mold ourselves to fit in, and to act accordingly. Teenagers search for the answer through rebelion, through drugs and alcohol and sex and they still don't find it. It's only when we grow up that we find out that we're just another person in the world - we just have to follow the routine and we're good to go. The beings that we are will be described by the university we go to, the job we will have and in essence describe the person we are. We define ourselves through expectations of others.
Does that mean that I won't ever truly find the person that I am? Will I ever truly understand myself? Do I need to, if the future is composed of not having to?
Words seem to flow naturally on paper. I wish only life and me could be just as easily done, like breathing.
Although, that's not that easy considering I have asthma.
I suppose I'll just stick with writing.

the only thing I'm good at,

Kelly