Me and My Mind (the three M's)

You know theres so many feelings out there, its difficult to pinpoint them all. But theres one in particular which i'd like to discuss - the feeling of absolute insanity, devotation, possible, unreal, and imaginable.
The feeling of being absorbed in your own little life, the existance of a life where your sort of perfection exists.
Its like your own movie... Someone crashes the window...its  so fast you don't notice. You turn around to look, and have that air conditioning movie effect where your hair is flipped aside by the wind, and you have the intense look of knowing. You don't know why, but your safe. You know nothing bad is going to happen. The figure comes closer, and the light shreds upon him.
Its him. You know it, you don't know how, but you do.
Its Edward.
And THATS exactly what happens to me whenever I stare out the window in Maths class. I imagine Edward coming in, blowing the windows up, teacher and students running away, him slowly coming out and taking his hand out towards me, and I undoubtly put my hand in his.
Of course, somehow the teacher always ends up waking me up from my devoted day dream, and I am starled with a 'What does X mean?' kind of question, where I am like 'wtf is this shit?oh wait. reality.'
--
This blog is pointless towards anybody who reads it, but means.. a bit to me. A bit of my uncaring soul.
Lmao, that was melo. No, no, i just enjoy writing a lot and it helps with my uploading mind of downloading new versions of EVERY single idea I have.

How Good Is It To Write?

Sometimes I think life is always about calculating - not just in the mathetmatical course.
Like > ' whats the point of you doing art if you don't want a job with it?', ' do you want a job with arts? are you sure? you don't get paid that well'
Look, I know we all look towards great jobs with a lot of cash, but that's seriously NOT FUCKING EVERYTHING IN LIFE.  Can't I have a hobby without it being my future job? I don't think I'll be an artist, I am not THAT good, but I find something so releasing in my art - why can't I just do it because I enjoy it?
Having a job is important, of course I will not effin deny it. BUT its not everything.
Theres so many things I could be that its scary. How can I possibly chose? theres so much pleasure in everything and theres so many things I want to discover... So for now, thats what Im gonna do. Discover. Explore. I have a good 4 years or so of having to do so, of enjoying it so do not mess it up for me. Let me live, let me see things I won't have time to - let me just enjoy my young body and soul and freeless responsibilties.

----
Sigh. NEW MOON IS CMING OUT BASTARDS!!! *cheers from a pedo guy whos probably the only one following this blog.. oh wait, he unfollowed me. whatever ill get his tweeter so he can follow me back*
Sorry I am being so random, but that's the fun of blogging, right?
no? well...that's just me, then.
--- Kelly Pattinson =))) *dream on, bitch, dream on*

Self-less or not, Painful or heartful

Theres nothing worse then seeing the ones you love cry.
I could cry myself, I could pity myself, I could feel all the emotional pain I can,
but its simply too much to see the ones you love so much, so weak.
A mother's tear, a father's pained face, a sister's weak heart.
I am not selfless, I think I am rather egoistical and selfabsorbed
But I prefer if forever may I be hurt then for them to ever have a tear.

There's some things which I will never understand, some things life hides or things my eyes are too weak, to human to see. I cannot truely see what others think or feel towards me, and that is something which sometimes I regret so much, because it causes me so much trouble. When others feel something towards me so obvious that I ignore or perhaps not see, I feel like hitting myself. Why cannot I not open my eyes, why cannot I not think of somebody else then me?
Look around for once. Cliche or no, just open your eyes and truely for once see.

My Really Lame Song

Love songs, love stories
Love poems, love games
I hear em all, and im frequantily quite sick

If its all so possible,
If all those stories,
All those shows,
All those memories are so and so
Then why don't I get some

why don't I have some
if its so so painful
if its so so hurtful
what's the point?
*oh oh*

I look at couples down the streets,
I see`em all happily kissin`,
I wonder whens my turn
I wonder when ill laugh like that

But I don't get an answer.
I don't get a smile like that

I wish my own heart jumped and skipped that way
I wish, I wish I knew the feeling
the earth shattering feeling *whoa, whoa*

Im just a teenage girl,
Singing about a thing I don't even know,
Im just looking around for my own guy,
my own love.

I might not know what I want,
I might now see it now,
but I trust one thing, oh- oh
I trust in one day knowing it too.

----
Sigh, I wish I had an Edward.
BTW, that was supposed to be a song *smirk* like I know anything about music, but sometimes it'd be soo...awesome if I could play the guitar. Listening to music is soo elbrating, imagine if you could play it.
Right now im in my bubble of world and the gates are closed, so don't expect me to come out soon. <3


--- lady gaga and madonna fighting was awesome, but it'd be way cooler if you'd have thrown some Jelo on them or something ---

Keywis to Dumbledore!

Keywis> How to read: ki-wi-s
               Meaning: Some fucked up shit i just invented, and means 'good things'. As in if your happy with that person/object/plant/orgie whatevers, you give it a keywis! kinda like 'it was sooo good'.

--

Dumbledore is my fave fictional character.
I love those really strong characters, who have that leadership and knowledge facade - and the amazing things they say! *well, the amazing thing the author says, keywis to her*
Still, its very inspiring.
I bought a huge book of classics which im pushing myself to read- classics are hard good english, and of course, great knowledge and stories.
Keywis to post for Dumbledore!

This are hard times, and im afraid will have to stay at easy even though intensity is licking our souls right now.
I know the economic crisis and the president and all the politics shits are in pressure, and its effecting our daily life - but we gotta stay strong. Our world has passed through worst, and with worst people.
I hope that our dear green planet shall stay green, both eco way and economic way.
Keywis to Earth, Nature, Love and Obama.
*wtf*

Strinkingly Bored

Crawl out of my soul

Disease out,
Possess my every word,
Hang on my heart,
Starve for love in my body,
Claw your nails in my lips,

Just don't ever let me go.
 
I saw your eyes,
I saw your soul,
I'd say we fit, but its no hope
I know me and you are different pairs
I know me and you are once again
In here.
 
In here,
In this empty corridor,
In this empty, empty life
With no one else but us
With no one else but our hearts
 
----
 
Dive in,
Dive in,
Dive in my soul,
Swim in, Swim in
And let me show you all I can
 
I want, I want
To let go
I say, don't you worry
I know how to say hello
---
Whatever, im bored, and trying to do 'songwriting' - and since I have no musical talent at all, even though I wish I do, I end up just writing shits.
Its useful crap when your faeceface is bored.
 
====
 
HELLO OBAMA!
Haven't talked politics in a while, so here I go pretending I care.
Naw, I care....
In a way
...
whatever.

Holiday's Delicious Sleep

Holidays are here, folks! and that means...
* hallujah song comin up*
SLEEP!
I love,love sleeping. Its so fun just relaxing, sleeping, dreaming... Not to mention the best way to say 'Buh bye, reality' without actully killing yourself.
And dreams are so weird - reason I love`em - because they bring out deep thoughts or things that the huge messy room in your brain doesn't clean up. So its nice remembering.
Xcept that`, gonna go do some sports *sigh, not like its gonna help* but just to be fit.
20 november, folks, and we're all gonna shit our pants when we see full screen hotness of robert half naked.. * fine, and taylor*
And of course I trust this movie will be better -> budget, better director, better fliming.
Though Im sad theres not gonna be a lot of robert, but it all makes it up for him being half naked!
I also hope the 'shining diamondy sparkle' Edward has will be better, because it was a lousy effect in the first movie.
Disney is seriously gonna be killed by someone soon.
Friends the movie - where the fuck is it?
Selena Gomez vs Demi Levato vs Miley Cyrus > I chose Miley. Just because at least she can somehow manage to sing and not look like a total clitface. * it hurts to recon this*
Matt LeBlanc - YES! his gonna be on TV soon, and Im first in line to watch. *not really first since its gonna be in america but ill figure it out *
Randomnesss ness nesss nesss


XoXo Forbidden & Wanted XoXo
                   Kelly