And such

"Elementry, my dear Vlada." I say, smiling at the simplicity of our case.
"Hoe, the fuck you talkin' bout?" She answers, with as much style and grace
that a being like her can attain.
"This case, Vlada, it is all so obvious. The clues have been misleading, but do not fret,
for although simple sights can be decieving, a brilliant mind like mine can look past it."
"..Nigga, you high on crack? I don't remember sillpin them mushrooms in your cake...
Recently."

Kelly after reading sherlock holmes.

"...And as such, the mythological only comes from humanity's need of an explanation, of an answer."
I explain, simplifying the matter as much as I possibly could.
"So...did they like...have sex to like create spirits and shit?"
I sighed. "While the observation is quite eloquent, no, that is not at all what they did."
"Cause dude I had this dream and dinsouars and mosnters fucked and shit."
"stop cussing."
"fuck that. go fuck yourself."
"do you have anything that goes beyond the word 'fuck'?"
"sex."
"oh dear"
"not with deers, no, man that shits nasty."


I stare at her fingers; fingers which have the finesse and practice
 of rolling joints for years. They slightly quiver,
as if the drugs were still in her system, but  they settle quite firmly
on her cigar.
"You should stop smoking." I mutter, hating her disgusting habit.
"You should stop being a bitch. Oh, look, two things that won't happen."
I sigh,and laugh slightly.
"Which site did you copy that from?"
"didn't copy it. I am just that smart"
"Facebook?"
"Fuck you hoe I got the iq of paris hilton."
"..So, you're retarded?"
"Naw, man, im classy."
"9gag?"
"Yeah."