If Love Was Real

"I love you, and always will."
His words struck me. Love seemed forgein. Loves only found in shitty american movies. Loves a theory, a dream created by us to make life more pleasant.
"Stop doubting me. I goddamn love you and you have to deal with it."
I felt like laughing. Its moronic. He rolled his eyes at me, clearly seeing my lips twich.
"It's real. I know you know it too." He whispered, grabbing my hand on his heart. At that moment, I couldn't care less about scientific facts about how your body reacts, and chemicals and horomones. All I could think of was his green eyes that seemed to be like a tunnel, and I was walking through it surronded by its color.
"Why do you feel pain when someone you care for leaves you? That burn in your chest? Its you, not your body. Not white blood cells or blood rush or whatever, Its yourself. Your definition in life. Your essence, and if I'll push it a bit, I'll go as far as saying its your very own soul."
He kissed me after his speech, his fingers touching my face lightly. At that moment, I couldn't care less whether love is fictional and that it's the chemicals in our bodies that make us attract and make us think we really feel it, or the fact that his science was limited to Iron Man movies -
All I could think of is him.  I knew I've become one of THOSE girls. The type that daydreams about a guy who will protect them and love them and cherish them. I knew I was independent, and looked at this type of girls with disgust for not proving their gender stereotypes wrong and only encourging it.
It's silly, but all my disapproval of them dissapeared once I kissed him.
"I will love you, cherish and protect you. All the words you hate with passion are what you're gonna get. You have to understand that it doesn't make you less of a strong person, it doesn't demean or lower you in any way infront of me. It's not because you're a woman, its because you're my love."
He said, once we broke the kiss. Smiling up at his almost to accurate read on my thoughts, I reached up to him and never breaking contact with him, I said what I always wanted to.
"It might be a fantasy that makes life better, possibly a  chemical reaction, or even a method to humiliate women.The hell with it all though. I love you, and will cherish and protect you. I will kick any female ass, or even a male one if needed. You're mine,whether you like it or not."

Teenage moodswings & A brain that won't SHUT UP

Combined, both are lethal and are killing me.  Making my insecurities and vulentrabilies shine proudly in my head, I am obviously not feeling in a great mood.
I'm weird. I know I am. Im no Lady Gaga and I am not as bold, but I know that I somehow can't explain myself to the world.
I think Im rather smart, but my facade or my bubbly personality tones it down and thats where they all human eye comes in and sees me with rash thoughts and judgments.
I don't care. That's what I tell myself, because I strongly believe in the amazingness that is not caring.
Knowing who I am and knowing that the people who I care about know as well, its pretty much all that matters. Sometimes, though, because of my moodswings and teenage insecurities it all breaks in.
The doubt, the loath, the hate. Drowning like a rock thrown at the sea, its hard to get out.  Obviously I resent myself in ice-cream = the answer to every major problem in life. Calories don't matter when you're in The Infamous Resentment Mood.
It could be two or three days, but I resurface. Like any typical human being, we got our downs and ups.
Resurfacing is great. Like I haven't seen sunshine in a while. Like a turtle coming out of its shell.
This is silly, I know. But you learn to drown yourself so deep in despair, that when you can finally come out you realize how much stronger you feel.Radiant. Prominent. Pungent.Everything is the opposite.
The hate is love, the doubt is confidence, the weakness is power.
Life's great, and you know it. Life's hard, but you must trust yourself to know that you will fall and yet raise and tower better then you've ever been.
Life may throw rocks and pillows at you, its how you handle the rocks and pillows that defines you.
That may seem out of place, but to me it makes sense. Whether or not humans will accept me, or whether i'll have the Samantha charm to handle life, Im gonna be myself. Im gonna live. Im gonna have faith and hope.
And im fucking not gonna care about what anybody else says about it, and for the record
I'll do it all with a smile.

The Hidden Symbol Lays In This Cryptic Message

Sometimes I wonder why people act the way they do. Ya know. When people are insufferable jerks/bitches.
Is it human nature? So we honestly all have this shitty ass side?
We goddamn only have one life to live and we spend it mocking ourselfs into thinking all that matters is us fitting in society. Money, having a partner for the sake of apperance, looking good.
What sense is there in life then?
Im not gonna plan ahead, because as the yiddish saying says 'a mentsh tracht und Gott lacht' (briefly saying ' a person plans and God laughs'), but I will promise to try my best not to think in that mentality.
If lifes basic needs are those, life sucks more then poets say it does.
Yeah, reality is harsh and fuckfaced at times, and so is our world -
But come on. Spending your entire life reasoning that you've accomplished everything because you fit in or are accepted is just not what lifes about. Unless thats your personal goal, which I won't judge but will have to admit I don't get.


Don't try to pretend you got the message, because hell, I don't even know what the message in here is.

Extrememly opposed to ever using Garnier cream again,
your wishful thinker,
You-Know-Who

P.S Glee your life! literally; go watch the show.

Won't Get Me Down

And tell me right now
I dare you right now
Tell me to stop it
To uphold my thoughts
and dreams
and hopes

and tell me to stop
to never believe
and tell me never to ever
forget you
and dare to ignore me
dare to convince me

because I won't be let down
I can dance
I can dream
I can smile
I can live
I can cry
for a while

even if it won't last
even if it its not all real
to me it is
to my heart its happening
to my soul its touching
and to you its only a fantasy

I won't let you get me down
when I know that all that matters
is that I care, is that I know

And dare to contradict me.