Sudden

Dear blog,
I've awoken from sleep with a sudden urge to write. Just write. I don't know whats with this sudden need that woke me, but I do know that if I want to go back to sleep I have to write.
Thoughts, memories and time keep me awake now. Theres so much out there, so much I have yet to comperhend and yet to live on - it makes me wonder if I accomplish anything from my existance.
I wish to make a change to myself and to the world. I wish to help others with more significant problems then my own, and I wish to wake up to a world that isn't as fucked up as ours.
While walking in the tiny park next to my house, I stare at the black skies with shiny tiny stars upon them.
I stare and stare at this tiny source of light and think, why have I not noticed it before?
what I mean is not the fact that im a degraded retarded and don't know that stars exist, but that I am blind for not seeing the beauty of a single star.
 Trying to write all this messed up feelings won't help me understand any of them, but it helps me to clam.
Live and don't lose hope.
Kelly.