The Scar Inside Of Me

I chuckled,seemingly oblivious to my surrondings.
"Miss?" Chuckling, I turned my chair and stared into her emerald eyes.
"You truely believe him, don't you?" I said, thoughtfully staring at a pen laying on my desk. Shaking my head, I contiuned. "I would have expected more out of you."
Gulping she started at the window, the streets shining with the living.
"Its different. Its not what your quick judgemental mind is thinking, Aoura."
I smirked and felt my confidence raise at the fool sitting infront of me.
"I find it amusing, you see. Such a strong creature as yourself, falling for the weak human feelings."
"Weak it is not, Aoura. Do not under-estimate it just because its not in your category of existance!" She raised her voice, daring me.
"Yes, my fairly naive friend, you are right.It is not in my category, and I did not label it. That is because that was the mission given.Have you ceased to noticed why we are truely here, Laila?"
She frowned, making sense of my words.
"I love him. I don't know what that means, I don't know how this body is doing it and I don't know why, but I do."
Rolling my eyes I replied. "Rather cheesy, would you not think so?"
"Maybe. It doesn't change the truth though."
Gazing at her and her gazing back, I finally smiled.
"Its a weakness."
"I don't care."
"Its pity."
"It is not."
I gave up, shurgging. "Its insane."
Smiling, she caught on my defeat. "It is so."

In My Mind's Eye

He threatened my life with a promise that he'll kill me and I quickly accepted my fate thinking the worst was over.Yet instead of accomplishing his threat he vanished, his words leaving a trail of fog.
I knew death would come, I expected it. Though to know it will and not know when his reeking over the corner to finally do it, terrified my very soul. His plan to prelong my torture and fear was working, and I wish I could have the bravery to do it myself - but im only human, weak and scared. No matter what people think of me, I could not and would not pretend that I was brave enough to face the future.
Every day was a curse and whenever I managed to smile, I remembered where that it could be my last smile alive. I remembered, and always tasted the emptyiness that I was swallowing, that I was living.
Whenever I walked upstairs to sleep, I'd cry. Death was teasing me, and my constant wish of it to be over wasn not helping.
I was locked in a cage of torment inside my own essence, inside my very soul. Desperately waiting for God or for any superior force to take me. I'd much rather cease to exist then to my slow and painful vanishing.
I writhed and seethed in bed, moaning and shouting in agony and despair.
'Just kill me! finish your job! finish your threat!Kill me!' I pleaded.
The only answer was a thick velvet cloud with his pale face and bloodshot eyes gazing at me, as if analyzing.
He didn't answer, he just stared at my writing silhouette.

Turned On By Hair?

Im of course refering to my all consuming crush,
He Who Must Not Be Named (get it? because he was in a harry potter movie? and was killed by Voldemort? you know? no? you KNOW that you know)
Besides that, soon is the end of year. I am proud of myself for the achievments and maturity I have gathered, yet there is always space for more.
Ambushed by thoughts I have no idea where to begin to write this post down, so I won't.
This won't make sense and its not suppose to. Its like freewriting, and my muse is piano music.
I find it weird, considering im a teenager and all, to listen to piano. Its soothingness is unbelievably relaxing condra the modern rash and quick strides.
I again wish for some sort of musical talent yet again lacking the guts or time or money or effort to do something about it.
Music is like my porn. I listen to it daily, consuming till the climax.
Bet you didn't hear that one, did you?

Keep In Mind

Keep in mind the way my heart grows and feels
Keep in mind my humanity,
and my sense of credibility

We form mistakes that we can't take back
We decide decisions that we can only choose once
We risk the unknown for another
keep in mind

Keep in mind the glorious sounds
Keep in mind the sun's warm rays hugging you
Because it won't be there forever

Keep in mind the sound of my beating heart
Keep in mind its always there for you

Even if you don't know
And even if I don't know
And even if the world judges and tells us what to do
And sees us as another
What's true is that you're you

Keep  in mind they are humans as well
They easily fool themselves into thinking they care
Appriciate yourself because you've got one lifetime to do so

Nothingness Doesn't Lest

All I have left is my memories,
And all I cried for is gone.
I keep looking through and through
looking for a hole or a void of peace

I keep searching for a tommarow
Where I won't cry or hurt
I know there's nothing left,
but is it so wrong to hope?

I ask myself what to do
do I cry or do I smile
Do I relish in my thoughts of heaven,
and smile at my angel
Or do I face whats real,
and cry at the devil

Hope doesn't die last,
its the soul that does
I feel and see nothing,
and numbness fills me in

Its a feeling that doesn't last,
Its a feeling I wish I would always have
A numb kind of embrace,
Instead of the agony of feelings
Of caring
Of remembering
Of knowing.

A Mixed Up Poem?

Through heaven and hell,
Through life and death
let me sign my own regret
Let me sing those last words
Let me pass through thersholds

It doesn't have to make sense,
the way I cling to you
The way I would pass my soul away

My words burning me,
Turning up against me
I fight the universe,
I fight the feeling of being insignficant
Of feeling small and unnoticed

If galaxies exist then
What am I to do with the constant nagging
that im only here for you?

And I
am speechless for once
For once, not knowing how to say goodbye
how to say hello
how to speak those words

Second Take, Cut 2: Technology Upgrades

---beh, hopefully it's betta-

I can hear them near me, taking in the smell of fresh information. They close their eyes, and let out a content sigh. "It's close." They say, as if in a trance.
In case you didn't quite catch it, I was talking about the iPhone fan reaction to the leaked photos of iphone 4 on the internet. This leaked photos made quite a stir, both for the fans and Apple, Apple having a tiny problem with one of the employees accidently forggeting the gadget in a bar.
Apple's leaked iPhone 4 photos reveal the iPhone's new slim look, with  improvements from its last form. Even if Apple's allegedly 'new' improvements isn't quite new to the smartphones society, Apple fans choose to ignore it by marvelling at the new option of a flash camera on the front and back of the mobile.
The squared shape gives the product a new look, with new metallic buttons and a slim surface area.
Unfortunately for the public, Apple has taken its famous product back from the people who found the product abandoned and alone at a bar. Yet now the excitement is even bigger, and is triggering the already excited fans for more.

Now, I don't want to go too Apple crazy because there's loads of other things going on right now in technology. Say, the rumors of the PlayStation 4 'original' design came out and everyones buzzing on and on about it. You wouldn't have happend to see any interactive game use this sort of look, have you?
(picture) Seems familiar? Nope? Not at all?
Okay, if you were thinking of it looking like a normal tv remote controller, you were kinda right. Only it looks more like the Wii nintendo. I can hear some of you relax with realization.
Truth be told, Wii Nintendo was popular when it first came out, but its sales has decreased in 31% and it leads me to think that Sony's rather obvious new gadget seems a bit silly.

Cheers

Cheers, mates!
For the fear of (unimportant) exams are over
(I say unimportant because these exams do not help/change/shift my life in any way)
I am free to celebrate my life, and this summer I plan to do so fully.
Firstly, I want to rediscover my long lost hobbies and I want to achieve atleast ONE of my crazy ideas.
Secondly, I plan to fly and have a superpower.
Thirdly, I plan to see Iron Man 2 and buy marvel things from israel.
Its this tiny list that must be accomplished in my messed up head, but I'll still try.
This is a short and rather unaccomplished post but its something to keep me going.
I love you my bloggity.
All my warm hugs
and your 'world's greatest computer geek',
K.L

Wtf is Love? (meh, more romantic then it seems)

There's millions, gazillions
songs about it
there's movies, there's books
and you don't get it

its a long complicated thing
and you have no idea
what they're sayin

I've never been in love,
and yet I always cry when I hear this thoughts
of torment and agony
of break-ups and unloyalty

I don't know what to think
whether to fall or whether to reach